I existed once

I once thought I knew me
And now I know
I've never known who I was
I am so bewildered
In all my blunders
And I'm just a smear
On the page of reality
And if reality exists
I must crumple this page
And rewrite myself and you
A new image of distorted reality
to succeed
In life
But until I know
What life is
I will keep crumpling and burning the pages