



simply a, just a place to write, create and relax
I attest to thee I rest within these walls of hope and disagreement I am amble in my mistakes of amplifying fortitude I am gracious in my waking hours and long for the depths of wisdom of the ages I have walked before you were in my eye of existence you are grave in thought and hope beyond what is possible to escape without billowing sails of intellect circumstances for long penetrate the flesh the soul resides lingering above tethered on a shoo string but we relent in the possibilities of the ageless the unseen forces of a bygone day yourself respect is not lost upon the sea of neglect your dignity can be restored you will once again walk among the angels at your side are those who long to defeat you demons are within your grasp and belonging is within them too how can we retrospect what has been implied when we mix the two heaven and hell once were one before the great divide and then there was the bang that shook all that was inside the fury of independence
I am just a jumble a mess of thought in thought in wrought of what has befallen me in times of disgrace I have unleashed my soul so as to unwatch my behavior devoid of self respect I clung to the disclaimer of human I flung and tossed about conject aimed at me as it was a skipping stone upon the sea of neglect disheartened I sat down at the waves rippling effect on the air about me to gentle for words I began to breathe again I breathed as though I had no lungs no voice to project my terror that I was still alive in a body meant to harness stronger men my flesh grew weak through lack of judgement and my thought deteriorated so slowly that my skin crawled with weeping sores from above my head hung the halo I had discarded eons ago and never wore again
while I write my own thoughts hysteria of convictions self-containing thoughts of contradictions connections so obsolete that they create constraints outcomes are lost but the future is still there lingering on an outpost of resentment and turmoil why can't I get my thought s together to write a simple apology why can't I say I am sorry for all the grief I have caused you caused the world to self-inflict the horrors of imagination have loomed on the horizon the trepidation of trespass into a world of resolve with a single word could cease its loathing if only held with meaning and action sorry I have wronged you how can we rebuild this earth so that we may all live in harmony
I am so imbalanced at times it seems I'm riding a tidal wave to self-improvement and then I crash onto the shore of disillusion and confusion takes hold as I sink into the sands of weariness
even perfect people have stories they hide thoughts they do not share and acknowledgements they will not give or receive they may go into hiding just like the rest of us but peer through the widow a little more often their pain is no less real and they cry no less but it may be on the inside for perfect people are really good at keeping secrets so, they say as they rock on the crest of average
just because you spoke to me doesn't mean I didn't listen doesn't mean I didn't hear doesn't mean I don't love you it is just that sometimes the sounds the words get jumbled even though we speak the same language the words and thoughts get misplaced in my brain sometimes I am on a treadmill trying to catch up other times I am in a sawmill trying to put the dust back on the boards so much is missing at times or is replaced that I am stumped by a simple Hello and I don't know if your angry with me by your stance I see your mood but the words don't match the sounds you make all I hear are sirens of panic my panic because I want you to love me even though you don't know who I am really am I don't even know myself All I know that both of us are looking for something we can't see and our voices are not heard congruently sometimes the dishwasher speaks clearer than you I can understand the swish and picture the water swirling around but you are so much more than that your animations are hidden inside (The thought of seeing that, makes me laugh, as if a movie reel could pop out from your head, and spin me a tale or tell me a story of how my life began) But I am here with you with golden eyes staring and sometimes looking away hoping someday we can converse in more than gestures that have gone astray
I am now complete I find solitude in being alone I find harmony in being in the company of others I find joy in the expression of accomplishment and sadness in defeat I am weary with all the phases of being human and I sleep in restful slumber when it is time to replenish my soul I am grateful for all that has been granted to me in my awaken hours for a day does not pass when I do not find glee or sorrow admist my company and forlorn is a long-lost friend I am too willing to be part of the present while honoring those of my past I walk where once great soldiers' tread upon feet wrapped within blistering undefeated souls of harmony whose growth upon this earth are as great as the giant oak in my backyard I am thankful for all the graces the sunlight and shadows have shed I have wept and cried out for peace but peace is nonexistence for growth, harmony and kinship does not exist when all is silent I will speak of love and sacrifices that all the living has made and shed a light in the shadows of the many shades of gray
i am i will be i am i have the will to be more than intuition
my name is nothing more than syllables to be sung in harmony the peacefulness of a name sung out loud brings tears to my eyes you can hum my name and I will join in the resonance and we will be together you will feel me within you within the vibrations
i hear your voice trembling as you call out my name in the darkness fearful i will not come to your rescue your aid fear not for you need not speak out loud i hear whispers in the silence of the breeze it beckons me to be close to you always
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