I look into your eyes
And I see myself as a child
Wandering aimlessly
Against all odds
I made it through
The time less self zone
My future was uncertain
In a world that held no existence for me or you
I questioned everything and nothing as if the two were the one in the same
But it fell on deaf ears for I had none to question the response back
I was alone and yet whole
Without you 
My eyes sparkled
Diamonds in the rough of time
Scraped so hard they could not see all the faucets of being cut into a window that never closes
I fell into the word unknown
On knees that had yet to appeal
Priceless was my wanting to awake before time forgot to open the lid to nonperishable
But I awaited the sin of the heart to unfold it's wrapper
And gasped with the opening of existence without breath
The heart beats a lonely tune of unpresenced
You exist because I was lonely
And my heart had only one chamber
But now it's been cleared a path 
Openings into new forums
I exist
Because you exist
You are a layer of me
Torn from a tear from a watered down eye
Fearless to cry and be heard in public
For the eye of my I is my own enemey
And my heart is a trail blaze home
Where the bounds of reality peel back
And replace themselves like a self healing banana
Soft and over ripe to very green
I welcome myself and the me that is you
And I look into you eyes and see me
 being renewed once more
In the land and world where imperfections are common
And mistakes are to be made as if each was the answer to completing the hearts y

Don't you hate it
When you have been smacked
By the universe
The hateful
Crime of reality
That you can not change
Existence
Where reality meants existence
So hard 
Your nose
Bleeds
Where future
Meets the presence
And reality to unfolds into existence

So far beyond your control
It wants you to stop typing
But you have to let the world know
It's beyond your control

Reality is  meerly existence
In a land that you enjoyed
From afar
You see the space ship coming to take you away
But you keep fighting
To keep the reality in your mind
Peaceful slumbers will exist 
Nevermore
Once you have slipped behind
The time zone
Of reality
The mere perception 

my nose bleeds
As I can not find
My Way home
I beg for forgiveness
To the land which I do not walk upon
I am ready for existence to succumb to the reality of the unknown
I walk into the solitude of being
Alone with myself
As I gather the future existence of self
I beg of you
Forgiveness
For not believing in your existence
Please devore me 
With your presence of truth
Tho I can not handle it in this human life form
My sanity
Is yet to 
Be determined by man

I am more than a friend
I am also your enemy
For we can not be in agreement
On our destiny
I can not tell you
What you want to hear
For my own voice 
Must interject
For I must be true unto myself
And you
Should bring up your objections
For I need them to steer me to clarity 
We may pout and walk away
But we will meet again
If only for more clarification to why
Why is the hardest word to overcome
We seem to be screaming it coming from the womb
Thrown out before we are ready
To learn
About life
About
Me and you
Torn apart before existence
Searching for the understanding that can make us whole
But there are so many holes
As soon as we find our objective
A new one opens up
Some say this is happiness
To always be seeking
And to that 
I ask why

if I ever wanted to be true
Accepted as a nonfiction
Would I stop painting my face
And doing my hair
What clothes would I wear
Would I be expressionless
Delve only in fact
And that's where I get lost
For what is fact in a world of fiction

I awoke
 only to find my name erased in the fog of darkness
there is no clarity
no light for me
 in the darkness of the night
Emptiness and loneliness
Keep me shuttered in my past
I feel so alone here
In the haze
the cloud of empty screams
I have no reckoning for my being
Here along the precipice
A soul
In an empty body
I keep others from falling
 off the ledge
I'm just a bumper
That is disregarded
The discard 
From before time began

is it worth that keeps us human
Is it worth that keeps a reality alive
Is it worth that keeps me believing
If so why am I questioning
The definition of worth

I once thought I knew me
And now I know
I've never known who I was
I am so bewildered
In all my blunders
And I'm just a smear
On the page of reality
And if reality exists
I must crumple this page
And rewrite myself and you
A new image of distorted reality
to succeed
In life
But until I know
What life is
I will keep crumpling and burning the pages

self portrait of a weary man
Too tired to stand tall
Too torn to be believed
Too many days without sleep
Too much lag in thought
The propulsion of meaning is lost
Disconnected from reality
The only hang out is your mind
Weary
Weary
Mindless
Lost 
Forever
In a forgotten world
That you never meant
To create 

I long to be with you bundled away
Without a point
And nothing to say
I have been rubbed out of my thoughts
The writing was not my own
I've been snubbed and erased
I thought it would of felt good to have been used
But now I'm forlorn
Battered and torn
From the pages I rip
Stippling of white mixed with my tip
Unabatedly traitored by the one that said lets see what we can do
I am going to write with you
Became a solo act of aggression
A disregard for my thoughts of freedom and confiment 
Now I am a prisoner without any walls
Held by command without a chain to my acceptance 

I've kept my friend
In the corner by the door
Penned in for I'm afraid he will run away
Big head and scuffed up nose begging to go for a walk
Long and lean and a little bit wrinkly too
We've aged together over the decades
Not keeping it a secret of the things we've lost
But together we speak silently the groans and moans
the memories we keep of our younger days
I admire my scruff
For he still stands tall
And reminds me of my courage when I was small
Although he took the biggest hit upon his nose whenever I did fall
But that doesn't stop him from encouraging me to stay balanced and strong
After all these years he speaks loudly without a word