time

It is time for me to admit I am 35 years old
And I have grown enough to learn about life
What is life and how I fit in
For until now it has been a series of circumstances out of my control
Or so I believed
But now I feel as though
I can shape and mold things other than myself
I can change viewpoints
Perspectives
Change of heart and the soul of ownership
Freedom of expression and free will go hand in hand
I am more than just what is spoken of me
I have a voice
Inside of me
Is a room whose door has been chained and locked
I am going to crawl out that window
And approach the door from the other side
Tug and pull
Until I feel a draft of fresh air
I am ready to breath in
The warmth and cold
As the two worlds collide
I am declaring myself human nonspecific of origin
But free and deserving to be alive and treated with respect
In return I shall treat others with respect and grant
Give in my own way
The chance for them to discover
Who they are
On the other side of their door
Where they have been hidden from view
There are so many doors to knock and unlock
In the world of my mind
But I am going to try to grant them all
Access to the knowledge of the cumulative word
Words that have been spoken for centuries
Words spoken but hidden from mankind
Until they were kind to one another
But perhaps it is time for them to see
What was expected
Hoped for
On the day
Moment
Of their creation
Such greater hopes
Had never been sprung from the tenders of this universe
But as our experiment is failing
We may need to intercept a part of the thought process
And give more freedom to open new windows
In order to save all of our lives
Before human kind
Pollutes the rest of the universe
And we all fail to live and thrive
Unenclosed

underneath

i want to help you carry your love
so underneath
i would hold the cupped hands 
that feed the soldiers
the call to your reveille
you are my warmth
 and salvation is yours 

i call out your name with words unspoken
i call out your name without syllable or sound
i call out your name with nothing more than soul
i call out your name and you answered me

thank you
for your blessing of spirit and mind
thank you for your blessing to all mankind
thank you for your forgiveness to that which is known
thank you for giving me hope of resurrection 
but not revealing the time of its inception

off limits

if everything is off limits
the world is endless
no boundaries to tether me here
or there
i am free to explore

free is such a confining world
for freedom should not have to be given
exploration of the talents of all beings
and creatures
all planets, and distant stars
should be granted with free will
so if free has no need for granting
the question comes down to what is will

is it the courage to strive for your very best
or is it to see how much you can fail
if failure is a series of setbacks
is that what it takes to see what is behind all task granted

so is it our eyes or our hands that fail to grasp and hold things in view
is it the heart or the mind that causes us to succeed
where is the mesmerization of text withheld

if i came to you with palms open 
would you place yours on top of mine
or underneath

goodnight moon

good night moon good night stars
we see you from afar
a fraction of your size to your being
here i feel i am beside you as i close my eyes and mind
in here i feel you within me
hearts collide
the solitude of space 
gives me time to reflect
upon your glow
i know so well
in the depths of outer space
where the atmosphere is so cool, and life is unknown
but shared experiences are complete
i gaze into the starlit sky with my eyes closed
for the mind's eye knows the temptation of looking too deep
into the void

more or less

more or less i know you
if you are human
and have a beating heart
i am within you
for we shared the same beginning
the same start
from the solar system of intellectual prodding
of whom should appear when
i have found solitude in the constellations
i have confidence here
knowing that i am repeating past events
time reoccurrences motioned into play
by the great believers beyond
who traveled here before
man was ever equipped with the knowledge of space and time
when man was only a grunt away from a fracture of assimilation

we are the experienced ones from the place of time begun
your world was just a telescope into what we could find
to occupy our thoughts and past regrets into self sacrifice and circumstance
we retrace our steps
looking to where we went wrong
so many times we find our selves singing the same old song

but you can't hear us now
for the proverbial apple you did eat
you cut us off from the vine
and now we retreat in haste
for the new world is crumbling
and about to explode
back to our planet before we all implode

I miss the reminisce

i can recall the recoil of past events
but it is the events i don't recall
the had now and the had then are so intertwined
i don't know which is real from escaped reality
but in my heart i feel i was blessed with multiple personalities
to have taken part of a wondrous world

a world self-created by all my influencers
those that made me happy or sad
those that make me laugh or cry
are much more prevalent now

i am jovial one moment and a bleating sheep another
i am tender and christened all at the same time
i am experiences and unfractured unconditionally
revolving about the time unknown
i am jovial and considerate in my repeating of words and phrases
i am unexperienced in the preset type of my life
i am happenstance and uneventful
full of life and nonexistent
i am me unknown to myself  
and unknown to others who knew me
i am lost but am found every day to be here
where i do not know
for logic does not govern my bearings
logic is incongruent to the possibility of being live
alive is a word misspoken in the world of self-reflection
for images are always dead

concentric circles

i want to stop going in circles
round and round my brain
i want to find my identity
before i was born
into me, he, she
i want to be whole
not open ended
i want to be free of all this disbelief
that we are free to be who we are

when the times get tough
and they get tougher all the time
to be sincere about your identity
the chain stitch link is snapping 
all the time i am losing stitches
to my concentric circle of friends
who even can recall the had been i was?

I'm not saying had been as a bad thing
for i too have forgotten most of the had
the had dock of it all is fishing for an open line to cling to
to escape to 
to finish off the open identity to my mind
not that i don't ever want to stop changing
i just want to stop climbing the steps to the unknown reality
of who i really am

but i will never be am
and i am grateful for not being me
who used to be
but in the now
i am confused
but knowing that each day i will wonder
who i am
even if i found myself in a self made mirror
i will never come to the acceptance that 
that was me tomorrow

i am in need of solitude
peace of mind
but i go wandering off disheartened 
that my memory is failing me
it has always failed to start and stop when i wanted it to
it seems to have a mind of its own
a mind within a mind seems to have always confronted me
with the possibility that words were not to be spoken or heard
just a temporal beat is what keeps me going
and that is the music of the universe
the true me is in the language of that beat
that mysterious beat is the secret
to my identity before i was born
before i became me
before i became she
before i became he
and long before i became we
we are many minds shared but once i was alone 
and for that is what i am searching for

pray

Pray for Arm mania
Pray for the Ukraine 
Pray for the people of the world
Hope our leaders do not go insane
Hope they do not make fools of themselves 
In this game of jest
The mighty jouster charging forth
Pounding on his chest
I am the great soul survivor 
But if he only knew
The survival of the soul
Depends on something greater than me or you

I am the savior of my own destiny 
That rings true 
But the survival of my people 
Depends on you
The words you speak
The clouds you forsake
The blemishes of dew
Hold the earth in your palms
And dig a place for two

Two children of the spirit world 
To begin life a new
Two children of the spirit world 
To hold place
When the world was once knew

craft

I am going to craft
A draft
Fountain and new
I am going to craft
The whatever comes through
This idiotic game of chess
That which I never learned the game
But a master plan
A directors chart
I will draw up
Just the same
Words of sanity
That sinks into a few
Words of sanity and revelry
That takes hold like glue

Words for the figure heads
That which they can’t decipher
Words for the figure heads
Words that they will ponder
For the word will be there
If they just rearrange
The word will be there
On how to make a change
The word will be there that allows them to save face
The word will be there
It just has to take place
In a temple or a synagogue
A place where worship has a face
A place of holy words
No matter what the word
That game beforehand
The place of the holy
Is where words can be restored
It is not the religion that will rule the day
It is not the religion that will determine who will stay
It’s not about the religion
It’s about the magic that will play
Once we speak the holy word
In places of pray